life off balance

ON HIATUS: i am currently taking a break from this project. check back later for updates on its status.

as my blog readers know, since october 2006 i’ve been working my way through seeing all of kiefer sutherland’s movies. i decided if i’m going to see them all i might as well give a review of them to aid others in enjoying kiefer’s work.

so, without further ado, i bring you my work in progress. i will rate each film with 1-5 stars based on how it compares as a whole to other movies. i will also rate each film with 1-5 “k’s” based on how the movie compares to other kiefer films i’ve seen, from the perspective of a kiefer fan.

Mirrors (2008?)

I Trust You to Kill Me (2006) (as himself) **** / kkkkk

this documentary follows rocco deluca and the burden as they tour europe with kiefer as their tour manager. as much as i enjoy kiefer’s acting, he is even more compelling when he is “playing” himself. he has an honesty and intensity and rawness that i just love. (which is really the root of my crush, you know. i didn’t even notice how hot he is until i started crushing on his personality.) what makes I Trust You to Kill Me so fascinating, in my view, is how absolutely kiefer believes in deluca as a musician and how devoted he is to making the band a success.

the surprise of this movie was that i enjoyed the live concert footage a lot more than i thought i would. deluca and the burden are very talented musicians. yet, i still spent half the movie trying to figure out what exactly was missing in the music for me, and why i didn’t really see myself buying their album. because i really wanted to like it, and by the end of the movie i was really rooting for them to make it big. travis liked the music more than i did, though, so that’s a good sign.

UPDATE: i saw this movie again and decided it deserved an extra half star. i also saw rocco deluca and the burden play live at the same time, and they were a lot better than they were in the movie.

The Sentinel (2006) *** / kk

when this movie was in the theaters i liked to refer to it as “24, the movie.” it wasn’t quite like that, but it is a pretty typical “secret service foils plot to assassinate the president” movie. i gave it three stars (despite co-starring michael douglas, who i hate) because it was pretty interesting to see a dramatization of what it takes to protect the president and the first lady, and i’m feeling generous today. as for the two “k’s,” i’m just friggin’ sick of kiefer as a cop/federal agent.

The Wild (2006) (voice) *** / kkkk

this was actually a fun movie. much much better than the dinosaur movie (see below). the animation is seriously amazing, and it’s actually pretty funny. kiefer plays a lion and he’s awesome. co-stars janeanne garafalo (as a giraffe) and eddie izzard (as a koala) are also great. there is a hilarious cameo by william shatner as an evil wildebeest. enjoyable for the whole family!

i gave it four “k’s” because 1) i love kiefer in comedies, 2) he doesn’t play a cop or a psycho, 2) he makes an excellent lion, and 3) he does a really funny/cute little song and dance at the end. so yeah i guess it gets one “k” for each of those reasons.

River Queen (2005)

The Flight that Fought Back (2005) (made for tv) (narrator) *** / kkk

kiefer has a very distinctive and recognizable voice. especially if you’ve seen about 40 of his movies in the past year. so i think it says a lot about this “docudrama” that after a few minutes i totally forgot that kiefer was narrating the film. that’s how absorbing and moving it is. they interspersed real interviews with dramatized scenes based on the 9/11 report and other available sources.

many people might be burnt out on hearing about the events of 9/11 but a lot of this story was news to me. travis and i were on a cross-country road trip on 9/11 and didn’t return to dc until about 6 weeks later. we never saw the endless news coverage, and i had never heard the details of what had happened that morning with regard to flight 93.

normally, i would say that it’s not a good thing for an actor when you forget that he is in a movie. but considering the subject matter, i think the fact that i forgot that kiefer was the narrator reflects well not only on the movie itself, but on kiefer himself. it would have done a disservice to the subject matter if we were thinking “jack bauer” at every voiceover. kiefer’s narration helped to tie together the dramatic and documentary elements without distracting from either. that’s a pretty impressive feat when you have one of the most recognizable voices in hollywood. so that’s why i gave the movie three “k’s.”

Hope in Heaven (2005) (narrator)

Jiminy Glick in Lalawood (2004) (as himself) **1/2 / k

this comedy starring martin short has its funny moments but not really enough for me to say “hey, go rent this movie, it’s hilarious.” short plays a small-town movie reviewer at the toronto film festival. the funniest bits are the scenes from “growing up gandhi,” one of the movies at the festival. kiefer has a 30 second cameo as himself. (on the red carpet, jiminy glick asks kiefer “so you’re canadian, what’s up with that?”) i only gave the movie one “k” because, although kiefer’s cameo is really funny and adorable, it’s no reason for anyone to watch the movie.

NASCAR 3D: The Imax Experience (2004) (narrator)

Taking Lives (2004) **1/2 / k

this is a slightly-better-than-average thriller starring ethan hawke and angelina jolie. i don’t want to give away too much of the plot, so i’ll just say that it gets one “k” because kiefer has a really small role of the sort of character that he can play in his sleep.

The Land Before Time X: The Great Longneck Migration (2003) (voice) ** / kk

this is a straight-to-video animated movie in which kiefer plays a brontosaurus. or whatever the right name for brontosauruses is these days. when i was a kid we called them brontosauruses. in the movie, they just call them “longnecks.” which makes me think of beer. and come to think of it, this movie would have been a lot better after a few longnecks of the brewed variety.

for a kids’ movie it is surprisingly slow-paced and boring. the plot is dumb, even for a dumb kids’ movie. so dumb that i actually sat in a restaurant with travis and related the entire plot to him to prove how dumb it is. i can’t believe i did that. but it is great compared to the last movie i saw (Twin Peaks) so it gets two stars. it also gets two “k’s” because playing a brontosaurus is such a far cry from kiefer’s typical cop/renegade/psychopath roles. he was a great brontosaurus.

the first thing i said to travis after this movie ended was: “i’m so sick of seeing brontosauruses snuggle!” there’s a lot of brontosaurus snuggling in the movie. apparently, brontosauruses snuggle by rubbing their heads together. also, apparently brontosauruses are very affectionate. because this movie was chock-a-block full of brontosaurus head-rubbin’ snuggling. kiefer sutherland as a head rubbin’ snuggling brontosaurus. can you understand why i said this movie would go down a lot better with a few longnecks of your own?

Ultimate Gretzky (2003) (host)

The Dolphin Story (2003) (narrator)

The Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary (2003)

i’m not even going to bother rating this show. why did i watch it? i really didn’t have to, since i can’t see how it counts as a movie. anyway, kiefer doesn’t do anything but sit on the stage between denis leary and elizabeth hurley and smoke and drink and laugh at the (so-called) jokes. random, huh? the whole show is pretty random. oh yeah, and it’s not particularly funny. dane cook was the only “roaster” to acknowledge kiefer’s presence. he’s like “i have a great idea for your tv show - you have 24 hours to find out what happened to your film career.” which would have been funny if kiefer ever really had a decent film career. but considering that he’s more famous, more successful, and more highly respected as a result of 24 than he ever was as a result of his film career, cook’s joke doesn’t make much sense.

Race of the Century: Ben Johnson, Drugs & the Quest for Gold (2003) (narrator)

Paradise Found (2003) ** / kkkk

i really don’t know what to say about this movie without getting into a big art history discussion about paul gauguin and orientalism. suffice it to say, this movie irritated the hell out of me with its dogmatic portrayal of gauguin as a sensitive and noble artist/adventurer/revolutionary.

viewing it strictly from the perspective of a kiefer fan, however, the movie is fascinating. first off, it is refreshing because kiefer doesn’t play a cop or an outlaw, although there is the danger that he is starting to make a habit of “tortured artist” roles (see also Beat, Woman Wanted). but i think what is so interesting about this movie is that it glorifies gauguin as a man who basically abandoned his family and any hope of commercial success to remain true to his artistic vision. while the historical accuracy of this portrayal is up for debate, it is a very interesting role for kiefer sutherland to take on in that kiefer has deliberately taken the opposite path in his own career. he has acknowledged on more than one occasion that he has made a lot of movies that he is not particularly proud of (for good reason, as i can certainly attest) essentially for the purpose of bringing home a steady paycheck to provide for his family, which includes not only his biological daughter but his three stepchildren that he (by all appearances) has continued to treat as his own despite the many years that have passed since he split with their mothers. and because no artist would so deliberately make the opposite choice (that is, reject family responsibility in favor of artistic integrity) kiefer’s personal history gives him a unique insight into his character in this film that few other actors could have.

i suspect this unique insight is the reason he made Paradise Found, and for this reason alone it is one of my favorite kiefer movies. my fascination with kiefer sutherland has been from the start not about his work but about the kind of man that he is in real life, whether it’s his amazing productivity as an actor or the raw honesty that he displays pretty much every time he opens up his mouth. for better or worse, it is kiefer himself (rather than his work) that continues to be the interesting element of this project.

Phone Booth (2002) *** / kk

we never actually see kiefer in this movie; he is the voice of the sniper that tortures colin farrell over the phone, keeping him stuck in a phone booth in times square for most of the movie. it’s a fine rental for a rainy saturday afternoon. kiefer does a fine job as the bad guy. blah blah blah, whatever.

Behind the Red Door (2002) *** / kkk

i’m reviewing this movie long after i actually watched it, so my ratings are based more on how the movie has weathered the fog of my memory than on anything else. kiefer plays a man dying of AIDS. kyra sedgwick plays his estranged sister who ends up caring for him in his last days. i’m pretty much burnt out on kiefer movies right now — this is the last review i’m writing before i take a hiatus from this project — so i’m sorry i really don’t have much to say about it. it was good. kiefer and kyra were good in it. really, what i remember best about it is the beautiful seaside house in which it’s filmed.

Dead Heat (2002) …aka I Fought the Law * / kk

kiefer plays a cop forced to retire after having a heart attack. he’s also estranged from his wife, though we never do find out what the deal is except that apparently she wants to have a kid and he can’t see bringing a child into this fucked up world. anyhoo, he buys a race horse with his brother who is a small-time criminal. the horse is stolen by a mobster to pay back the jockey’s gambling debts and trouble ensues. spoiler alert! at the end, the horse wins a big race and makes everything all better, not only ending the trouble with the mobster but also reuniting kiefer and his wife and providing them with a pre-teen daughter. don’t ask, you really don’t want to know.

this movie is dumb, even for a kiefer sutherland movie. as usual, it isn’t kiefer’s fault the movie is a stinker: his acting is great, and he’s hot as hell. but the plot, the script, and even the score leave a lot to be desired.

[disclaimer: i watched this movie while knitting and didn’t pay too close attention to most of it, so it’s possible that i just didn’t notice how awesome it is. but i really don’t think so.]

Desert Saints (2002) *** / kkkk

let me just say that the best thing about this movie is kiefer’s sex scene. he is h-o-t hot in this movie. kiefer stars as a hit man. the movie itself is actually a pretty good movie.

To End All Wars (2001) *** / kkkk

based on a true story, this movie is about allied prisoners in a japanese work camp during world war two. although most of the protagonists are scottish (love the accents!), kiefer plays an american soldier who was working with the scottish regiment when they surrendered to the japanese. while it’s not the largest role in the film, it’s definitely one of the most pivotal.

i saw this movie a while ago, and i feel like i don’t remember it well enough to do it justice. so i’ll just say that it’s a very good movie, and kiefer’s performance is excellent. perhaps most importantly, the role is quite a departure from kiefer’s usual roles. it’s worth renting.

Code of Conduct (2001) (video) (as himself)

Cowboy Up (2001) … aka Ring of Fire

i have had this crap-fest sitting on my tv half-watched for four months and now i’m sending it back to netflix and taking a break from my kiefer sutherland project!

The Right Temptation (2000) ** /kkk

i ended up paying netflix like $14 for the privilege of seeing this movie, because i started watching it and didn’t get around to finishing it for over a month. (this is exactly why i don’t like using netflix, but i had to rejoin because i couldn’t find some of the more obscure kiefer movies anywhere else.) for all that, i don’t really have anything interesting to say about it. my favorite part was a really cute pet pig, who saves the day at one point.

i gave the movie an extra “k” for some hot sex scenes with kiefer and rebecca demornay.

Picking Up the Pieces (2000) *? / kk

i’m not sure if this movie is “so bad it’s good” bad or just bad bad. woody allen plays a butcher who chops up his wife and buries her in the new mexico desert, except he loses her hand. the hand, permanently stuck giving the finger, is found by a blind woman from this little town and she instantly gets her sight back. it turns out that the hand performs miracles on all who seek them, including bestowing one local man with a schlong down to his ankles. david schwimmer is the town priest who is having an affair with a local whore. anyhoo, you get the idea. it’s actually pretty funny.

kiefer plays a cop. (what else?) he doesn’t have a large role. the best part of the movie is when kiefer says “in flagrante delicto” in a really sexy/creepy way. i forgot why he said it but his delivery of the phrase was highly memorable. that and the cool CHiPs-esque cop sunglasses he sports throughout the movie are the only reasons this gets two “k’s.”

Woman Wanted (2000) ** / k

i’m going to spoil the plot for you, because i highly recommend you don’t see this movie: cool, intellectual father and troubled poetry-writing adult son don’t get along. father hires holly hunter as live-in maid. father and maid start a relationship. son acts out because he loves maid. father pressures maid to go back to college, but she just wants to get married and have a baby. son and maid have sex while father is out of town. maid tells father the second he gets back into town. maid leaves both of them and leaves town. father and son fight but then are closer than ever before. final scene shows the maid living on her own with a baby — it’s clear she doesn’t know or care who the father is. last shot is of a photo of both men with the baby, awwww.

i get the impression that Woman Wanted was an attempt by kiefer to make a “serious film.” unfortunately, it really fell flat for me. i couldn’t stand the way the characters were written. even kiefer only managed to get a few glints of substance out of his character. and, as should be obvious from my plot summary, the plot leaves a lot to be desired.

Beat (2000) ***** /kkkkk

after seeing Truth or Consequences, N.M., i swore that i’d give the next kiefer movie i saw in which he didn’t play a cop or someone running from the cops an automatic five stars. so it was a good thing that the next kiefer movie i saw was Beat, because it was genuinely a very good movie. kiefer plays william s. burroughs, courtney love plays burroughs’ wife joan, and ron livingstone plays allen ginsburg. what’s not to love about that?

while all five stars might not have been earned, i actually wish i could give it more than five “k’s.” in terms of kiefer’s performance, this is absolutely his best movie (of the 28 i’ve seen so far at least, although Freeway is still his best movie overall). it was heartbreaking. courtney love was also amazing. definitely a “must see” for kiefer fans.

After Alice (1999) … aka Eye of the Killer (USA: video title)

Ground Control (1998) ** / kkk

i just wrote in my review of Max Dugan Returns that my favorite movies to watch on tivo or dvd (when i’m not working on this here kiefer sutherland project) are early 80s movies with big name actors, totally forgetting about my other favorite “rental” movies: disaster flicks. the ones i like best are the natural disaster/weather ones, especially anything that involves icy mountains. but volcanos, asteroids, killer storms… all that stuff is awesome. believe it or not, a couple of weeks ago travis and i watched Atomic Twister for the second time (the first time was in our suite at the hilton hawaiian villiage in waikiki). i think we are the only people to ever voluntarily watch Atomic Twister twice. and i even have a hat autographed by Atomic Twister star sharon lawrence.

so anyhoo, all that is to explain why i found Ground Control to be one of the more enjoyable kiefer movies i’ve seen. kiefer has a starring role as a former ace air traffic controller that burnt out after one of his flights crashed. on one particularly chaotic day he comes back to ground control to help out his old pal and all heck breaks loose. will kiefer be able to hold it together and keep the planes in the air? rent Ground Control and find out!

The Break Up (1998) *** / kk

a twisty drama about a deaf woman accused of killing her abusive husband. worth watching if you like that kind of movie. bridget fonda is good in the lead. kiefer does a good job with his small role as a cop. it would have gotten more “k’s” except for the fact that kiefer really isn’t in the movie all that much.

A Soldier’s Sweetheart (1998)

Dark City (1998) ** / kkk

i’ve been putting off reviewing this movie because i’m not sure what to say about it. it’s a strange (and, in keeping with its name, dark) sci fi movie. i usually like those, but this one just didn’t really do it for me. it wasn’t a bad movie, though.

kiefer plays a weird scientist. he does a good job. i think i gave this movie three “k’s” because the role is so different from his others; he doesn’t look and act at all like the kiefer we are used to seeing. i think it’s the only kiefer movie i’ve seen in which he isn’t sexy. it must take a lot of acting skill for him not to be sexy.

Armitage III: Poly Matrix (1997) (video) (voice)

Truth or Consequences, N.M. (1997) ** / kk

i really wanted to like this movie, since kiefer directed and produced it. but man, kiefer, i don’t understand you sometimes. did you one day wake up and decide, “hey, what the world really needs is another ‘on the run from the cops’ movie, starring me!” i guess Young Guns, Young Guns II, Flashback, Renegades, and Desert Saints weren’t enough. (ok, Desert Saints came later, but still!) kiefer basically plays ace from Stand By Me at about age 30; he could have filmed this role in his sleep. the only reason it gets two “k’s” is because there’s a scene in which kiefer does an adorable dance.

the movie itself was fine. vincent gallo does a good job in it. but if you want to see a movie with kiefer as a bad guy on the run from the cops roadtripping through the desert, i’d recommend skipping this movie in favor of Desert Saints; it’s a better movie and kiefer is way hotter in it.

The Last Days of Frankie the Fly (1997) **/kkk

there are two things that i loved about this movie. the first is that frankie (played by dennis hopper, see also Flashback) has my dream car, an early 60’s red ford thunderbird convertible in perfect condition. the second is kiefer, who plays a pornographer addicted to betting on the ponies. if you are a real kiefer fan, that second thing should be enough to convince you to see the movie. if you aren’t a real kiefer fan, that should be enough to convince you not to see it.

A Time to Kill (1996) **1/2 / kk

kiefer plays a pretty small role as a southern racist/redneck. at least he doesn’t play a cop or a psycho. the movie seemed like a rip off of “to kill a mockingbird” with atticus finch played by matthew mcconaughey. so yeah, not as good. but it made for a fine weekend afternoon on the couch. two “k’s” for being the only film (as far as i know) that he made with his father, donald sutherland.

i probably would have given it three stars if i wasn’t so bitter that i had to break my rule about watching legal-themed movies again (see also A Few Good Men).

UPDATE: it turns out that, technically, kiefer and donald sutherland both have credited roles in Max Dugan Returns (see below). but kiefer is really just an extra in Max Dugan Returns, so i think A Time to Kill still deserves that extra “k” for featuring both sutherlands.

Duke of Groove (1996) (made for TV)

Eye for an Eye (1996) * / k

this movie sucks. kiefer plays a typical “sex offender guy” and he isn’t particularly creepy or otherwise engaging in the role. it’s sad that sally field ended up doing this kind of one-dimensional crap after her earlier great roles. loved her in Norma Rae and Places in the Heart. Eye for an Eye ain’t no Norma Rae or Places in the Heart. it doesn’t even hold a candle to Gidget.

Freeway (1996) **** / kkkkk

this take off on “little red riding hood” would be an awesome movie even if kiefer weren’t in it, but he makes it even that much better. reese witherspoon is brilliant as the main character and kiefer is perfect as big bad “bob wolverton.” it’s hilarious, smart, twisted… a must see. putting aside my nostalgia for Lost Boys, i’d have to say it’s kiefer best movie.

Hourglass (1995)

The Cowboy Way (1994) ** / kkkk

this movie gets an extra “k” for being a buddy movie co-starring woody harrelson. the movie is ridiculous but fun. kiefer and woody are great together. kiefer also has a cute mustache.

Teresa’s Tattoo (1994) (uncredited)

Last Light (1993) (made for tv)

The Three Musketeers (1993) *** / kkk

more fun than i thought it would be. kiefer should have had a bigger part, of the four musketeers (yes, there were actually four: kiefer, charlie sheen, oliver platt, and chris o’donnell), he probably got the least screen time. or maybe i’m just biased. kiefer again (see Young Guns) plays a flawed-but-good-hearted, brooding romantic, intellectual-type who is sort of drawn into becoming a hero by the circumstances life has thrown at him and the mistakes he has made. other than kiefer, my favorite performances were by oliver platt, rebecca de mornay, and tim curry. i must remember that julie delpy was in it, for “six degrees of kiefer sutherland” purposes.

The Vanishing (1993) ** 1/2 / kkk

kiefer stars as a man whose girlfriend (played by sandra bullock) is kidnapped and he becomes obsessed with finding out what happened to her. several years later the kidnapper gets in touch with him and taunts him about finding out the truth. a pretty standard thriller, but kiefer is really good in it.

A Few Good Men (1992) ** / k

the main reason i’m glad i saw this movie (other than checking it off my list) is how helpful it will be in playing “six degrees of kiefer sutherland.” it has a star-studded cast including demi moore, jack nicholson, tom cruise, kevin bacon, and cuba gooding jr. i broke my rule about watching legal-themed movies and tv shows to see this movie, and it basically reinforced why i don’t usually see these kind of movies. kiefer’s role was very small and confining, so his presence didn’t do much to make the movie more enjoyable.

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992) * / k

this movie was painfully terrible. boring, dumb, seemingly weird just for the sake of being weird. way too long (2 hours, 15 minutes). i had to force myself to finish watching it, and i couldn’t bear to watch more than a few minutes at a time, so it took me weeks to get through it. disclaimer: i never saw the tv show, so maybe that was part of my problem?

anyway, kiefer plays a dorky FBI agent. he is the best thing about this movie, but his part is small and the movie goes on foreeeeeeever after we last see his character. plus, i’m sick of movies in which kiefer plays an FBI agent or a cop.

Article 99 (1992) ** / kkk

pros: kiefer doesn’t play a cop or an outlaw, kiefer’s mustache, all-star cast (including ray liotta, forest whitaker, john c. mcginley, lea thompson, jeffrey tambor)

cons: the plot

you know how the washington post recently exposed how awful things are at walter reed army hospital? well, imagine instead of talking to investigative reporters, the patients and staff at walter reed had taken over the hospital so that renegade doctors could perform unauthorized surgeries to save veterans’ lives. that’s basically the plot of this movie. kiefer starts out as a cocky but naive young doctor who is just looking out for number one and ends up becoming a jaded renegade doctor with a heart of gold.

i really don’t know how to rate these movies anymore. it wasn’t a good movie, it wasn’t a bad movie. kiefer did a fine job with what he was given to work with, which wasn’t all that much. i did a quick review of similiarly-situated films (The Cowboy Way, Young Guns, Renegades, etc.), and i guess i generally give them two stars, so that’s what this one gets. it gets three “k’s” because (1) it’s the first movie i’ve seen in which kiefer plays a doctor; (2) kiefer in a mustache (in 1992!) is always good for at least half a star; and (3) there is a scene where kiefer wears glasses and a fishing hat and looks just like his dad in M*A*S*H.

UPDATE: imdb says that the donald sutherland/M*A*S*H reference was intentional. very cool.

Amazing Stories: Book One (1992) (straight-to-video) ** / k

this movie is “eh.” it was fine. the part i liked best was the opening credits because it brought back memories of watching amazing stories the tv show. kiefer was fine. he plays a radio operator on a bomber during WWII. he looks cute in his glasses. they are the same ones he wore in a couple of other movies (though i can’t remember which ones at the moment), leading me to wonder if they were his real glasses? if he needs glasses i wish he’d be photographed in them more often. i love men in glasses.

The Nutcracker Prince (1990) (voice) ** / kk 1/2

i don’t know the story of the nutcracker, but the plot of this animated children’s movie is so convoluted that it must be loosely based on the ballet at best. however, the movie does make good use of excerpts of tchaikovsky’s music.

kiefer plays the nutcracker prince. i was really skeptical of kiefer as a fairy tale prince, but he was marvelous. he really had that gallant-yet-humble thing down cold. he totally pulled it off. unfortunately, his role really wasn’t as big as i’d have liked it to be.

Trapped in Silence (1990) (made for tv)

Flatliners (1990)

Young Guns II (1990) *** / kkk

after i wrote that i didn’t like Young Guns so much, someone told me (sorry i can’t remember who) that Young Guns II was a lot better. well he or she was right, i liked it a lot better. kiefer still wasn’t in it enough, but he does get to go down in a blaze of glory, just like the bon jovi song written for the movie. another all star cast including emilio estevez, lou diamond phillips, the guy from CSI looking REALLY young, viggo mortenson (the guy from Lord of the Rings), and christian slater.

Chicago Joe and the Showgirl (1990)

Flashback (1990) ** / kkkk

this is a crazy comedy/buddy movie starring kiefer and dennis hopper, in which kiefer plays… wait for it… a cop. actually an FBI agent charged with transporting dennis hopper, a 60’s hippie radical abbie hoffman type, to jail. hopper gets away by tricking kiefer into thinking he’s having an acid trip. hijinks ensue. it gets four “k’s” because it’s rare to find kiefer in a comedy and also because kiefer’s character is adorably goofy when he returns to his hippie roots towards the end of the movie. see also 1969 for another movie with kiefer as an adorably goofy hippie.

Renegades (1989) ** / kkk

another buddy movie (see, e.g. The Cowboy Way, The Three Musketeers, Young Guns). another movie where kiefer plays a cop (see, e.g., The Break Up, Flashback, Picking Up the Pieces). another movie with lou diamond phillips (see Young Guns, Picking Up the Pieces) and/or jami gertz (see Lost Boys). i really don’t remember much about it (even though i only saw a couple of months ago) other than kiefer’s cute mustache. if it weren’t for the mustache it would only get two “k’s.”

1969 (1988) *** / kkkk

this is a coming-of-age movie with kiefer and robert downey, jr. (another one of my fav actors) as friends who go off to college together in 1969. also stars wynona rider as robert downey, jr.’s sister. i liked this movie a lot. kiefer and robert downey were great together. kiefer shows off some fine acting. and there is a scene with a really sweet kiss between kiefer and wynona.

Young Guns (1988) ** / k

this movie bored me, and kiefer’s role wasn’t large enough to keep me engaged. for a outlaw buddy film, see The Three Musketeers instead; it was a lot more fun. as in The Three Musketeers, kiefer plays a flawed-but-good-hearted, brooding romantic, intellectual-type who is sort of drawn into becoming a hero by the circumstances life has thrown at him and the mistakes he has made. also, as in The Three Musketeers, kiefer should have had a bigger part; he would have made a much more complex and interesting billy the kid than emilio estevez. also starring lou diamond phillips, jack palance, charlie sheen, and the guy who plays “locke” on lost.

Bright Lights, Big City (1988)

The Killing Time (1987)

The Lost Boys (1987) **** / kkkkk

adorable little 21-year-old kiefer! as a sexy bad boy vampire! plus jason patric and both coreys! what’s not to love? one of the best movies of the late 80s. i just read on imdb that kiefer broke his arm while fooling around on his motorcycle on the set. you learn something every day. rent this movie again, it’s just as good as you remember!

Crazy Moon (1987) … aka Huggers

Promised Land (1987) … aka Young Hearts

Stand by Me (1986) **** / kkk

i had forgotten how great this movie is. i love river phoenix as an actor, and he was amazing in this movie. little baby kiefer is really good as ace the bully. it’s a really two-dimensional role that is more of a plot device than an actual character, but kiefer did a good job with it.

Brotherhood of Justice (1986) (made for tv)

At Close Range (1986)

The Bay Boy (1984) … aka Bad Company (USA: video box title)

Max Dugan Returns (1983) *** / n/a

this is my favorite genre of movie to watch on tivo or dvd, this kind of early 80s movie with the big name actors (donald sutherland, one of my favorites, is in this one). this is what i usually watch when i’m not watching kiefer sutherland movies, movies like An Officer and a Gentleman, M*A*S*H, Ordinary People. which is good, since kiefer really isn’t in this movie. (hence the lack of a “k” rating.) he is essentially an extra with no lines, on screen for only about 5 seconds. his dad must have gotten him the part. but i enjoyed the movie, a heartwarming comedy written by neil simon.