life off balance

a few weeks ago on advice columnist carolyn hax’s washington post live online chat, a teenager wrote how she (or he, i don’t know but it’s stupid to write “he/she” 80 million times) has withdrawn from socializing with her peers because she realized that most people were annoyed by her. she said that instead of “vying for their approval like I used to, these days I pretty much keep to myself. (Read, draw, sleep, pet my kitty, go for walks.)”

i personally thought that life sounded pretty good compared to socializing with your average teenagers, but that’s why i’m not an advice columnist. carolyn gave a typical advice columnist response about talking to a school counselor or pediatrician, but then she added something pretty fucking brilliant, and it’s something i’ve been thinking about a lot lately:

“Last thing. You say ‘most people were annoyed by me.’ Meaning, some weren’t. ‘Some’ is enough for great friends, great colleagues, love… I annoy most people too, and I only cry once a week [after the weekly chat].”

don’t you think that pretty much everyone annoys the hell out of most other people? i know i definitely annoy most people. but as carolyn said, that isn’t the point, is it? all those multitudes i annoy can just deal with it; i have as much right to live my annoying life as the next person and anyway, we all have to put up with THEIR annoying asses too - it’s not like they are the only ones getting annoyed around here. the point is that there are actually a few people that AREN’T annoyed by me. to be yourself and be genuine and not kiss ass to get people to like you and wind up with a few friends and colleagues who aren’t annoyed by you, and even maybe one person who actually LOVES you just the way you are - that’s pretty cool. the rest of you fuckers can go fuck off.